The Strength of a Broken Heart

How can someone bear the loss of their most loved one? The smile, the laughter, the quirkiness, the ego, the anger, the everything. How? They feel them everywhere. Words, places, things, colours, smell, textures and what not. The pain is excruciating. No amount of tears or consoling words can provide warmth. Million memories that flashback; not to make it easy but to rekindle everything from the point where it all started. Google and Facebook memories, to just fuel it more. Maybe, technology should never have improved so much. Maybe, phones should never have had a camera in them. There is no room for consolation. The healing process is not easy. Probably, the pain never fades away. It only makes the heart rigid. It only makes itself stronger to face a heavier loss.

Time heals- they say. It doesn’t, it never had. It makes the pain more bearable. Time makes looking at pictures with smile and eyes welled up in tears. It’s the heart that tears, again into a million pieces. It takes in a bigger breath, trying to numb the pain.

Why create such a system? Why make a soul suffer? Why give something so beautiful just to take it off so shortly? Why make the survivors the most sufferers? The design is completely unfathomable. Altogether messed up. Yet, there are millions to believe this is all the result of out good and bad doings. Do good and God will take care of you!? Never knew a toddler could have done something to deserve the fate of facing pain, molestation, rape or even death. Who are we kidding?

Flawed. Totally, utterly, downright flawed.

Why live life?

Megalomania: a condition or mental illness that causes people to think that they have great or unlimited power or importance.

‘Hmm, a new word learnt today’, this is what I initially thought when I came across the word. Nevertheless, pondering upon it for a little longer made me wonder if I may actually be one of the Megalomaniacs. I am sure, I am not. Just like all of the others do, I think of myself as a tiny, little person in this world- a one, who is passionate yet content; a one, who is ambitious except not jealous; a one, who is loyal but with priorities.

Passionate, ambitious, loyal, content- all these are adjectives that I have used to qualify myself with. A tiny, little person thinks of themselves fit to be qualified with such words. What would a Megalomaniac think about them? Almost all the positive adjectives? Think about it. Aren’t we all at some level a Megalomaniac? We seek attention. We love being noticed. We want to be special. We adore ourselves so much that our narcissism goes limitless.

What are we trying to prove here? That we are better than others? And who are we trying to prove to? To the others who are trying their piece to prove better than us? Well, that puts us in a vicious circle. Shouldn’t our daily way of life make us much more refined rather than pushing us to attest our worth by words? Let us practice living the life we like and not brag about it. That would lessen our expectations and concentrate our focus on what we are better at. Life would be much easier that way; giving us better insight about what is essential.

Giving others the opportunity to have what we have, experiencing the joy of giving, spreading love- this is what gives us fulfilment in life. This makes us better people. We often realize that only when we understand what we have been deprived of. After all, money or the crown that we make for ourselves does not define who we are. It is the act that makes the difference. It is love and the sense of accomplishment that matters. Let us start to act now, to redefine ourselves, to spread happiness, to make the world better.

We are not only born to die, but we are also born to serve.

The Choice

Few questions in life do not have any answers and the journey yet continues. Every day, we progress towards finding a better self to make our lives a little less complex and a little more classy. En route for betterment, little do we notice the sacrifices we make. A day begins, progresses, and ends with a template. We hardly seem to care about using the right template. Its either predefined or someone else’s.

There comes a time when we realize that we have been using or trained to use the wrong template- something that clearly doesn’t work for us. The adrenaline rush starts working in our system and a pang of guilt hits our gut. A sense of anger on the self seems to build inside. We start questioning anything and everything that we have done thus far. When the series of self loathing and resentment come to an end, we are left with two choices; to take a leap of faith and change our life or motivate ourselves that something good is awaiting.

The latter seems convenient and easy. All it needs is persuading our mind, with various self motivational quotes and success stories with the template, to think that our success is not too far away. But building a new pattern, a new path needs a lot of courage. When the force inside drives and launches us, gravity pulls us more than usual. We either yield to gravity or compel ourselves to triumph.

With both the options, success is the destiny. We attain glory, we rejoice. We fall short to succeed, there is no place blaming on anything or anyone. Life does give us a second chance. There is one shot. There is one goal – happiness. There is one getting – success. But how we get it, is up to us. Success has no measure. Happiness has no limits. The choice is ours; to either bounce back or to hold on. Nevertheless, its our life and we are its master.

Come, let’s make God!

Where is God? A question that everyone, at some point in life, asks. Is he in the temple? The Church? The Mosque? Where is he? And, what is God? A super-power that grants you all your wishes? An angel that gives you all the riches? A divine soul that you reach out to when you need help? I am no atheist. I purely believe in God, but I still have all these questions in my mind. If this is what God is, then I would proudly say, my mother is God. All of ours is.
We have all had times when we secretly ask our mother for something and she will make that happen, she will give you the best of whatever she can, she will always be your first love and the angel just strokes your face and you feel that everything is gonna be okay. When a mother can be God, why can’t we? What could it possibly take to become a God?
A stranger who is kind enough to give you a napkin and pat your shoulder when you are in tears, a heart that skips a beat when a puppy is accidentally hit by a cyclist, a person who can shed tears for a stranger in agony- that is God. A kind heart, generosity, love, an open mind, forgiveness, reverence- one can find this in any human being. We are all Gods at some level. A little fine-tuning, and there, there you find God. So, next time, bring out the God in you and let all the devil out in the air. Help as much as you can, love unconditionally, forgive-after all, we are still human, apologize, laugh, spread happiness. Be God.

The good memory

I’m somebody who has a pretty good memory when it comes to remembering things and who-told-what and when (never once did it help with my academics, though). I know it sounds really good and many of my people say, ”Woo!  Your memory is too good”. But let me tell you one thing, having a good memory of things that you don’t want to remember or the details about really unimportant things in life makes you curse God for blessing you with a good memory. The good memory that I have, makes me feel like I am Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory. Some of my memories feel like they have been etched into my brain forever-their intensity never seem to reduce. Unfortunately, they are the things that I wouldn’t want to remember.

The cold look your close friend gave you when you had a fight, the bad argument you had with your roommate, the promise that someone made you and broke it, the cheap comment a guy made at you on the street, the hurting word your loved one told you, the moment you thought your person would be with you but they had other options, the face of a little boy who had to sell a pack of ear swabs to make his living, the old lady who was chased away by the shopkeeper just because she was poor, the look on the face an old couple who were let down by their son –  you seriously don’t want to remember these.

 

Although, when you remember all these, it reminds you of the good time you had with that person, the way your friend supported you when she knew you were utterly wrong, the effort someone took just to keep up their words, the courage that built inside you to face the little, worthless people, the smile that came across on your face when the small boy used his self-formed marketing strategy to sell the pack of ear swabs, the happiness you felt when you saw the old lady who wouldn’t budge, the love in the old couple’s eyes – this makes you appreciate the little things in life, the good memory that you have and your own self for paying attention to the little details.

 

So next time, look again for the little, special things on every minute of your life; for all you may know, there is something more than what you see. Make every moment in life count, make a memory.